I agree with you Steve. I could not have gotten through this without this board and posting about it led to me obsessing a whole lot less, I think. But...to each his own. Best of luck Core. (((HUGS)))
This was against my morals, my religion and all ideas I formed my entire life.
Part of my soul feels crushed because of this. I dont know how I'll look at my kids today when I see them, knowing I just ended their family unit. They barely had a glimpse at a normal family. Especially my son. I know my feelings will change with time. I know this has become the better option for them. Still, these two innocent little beings are going to run around like normal, not knowing this is all going to change very, very quickly. Why were they brought in to the world only to face hardship so young? They arent the only ones and people have it worse I know. Still, as they sing finger family and baby shark songs, I'll suffer on the inside.
This is horrible but it had to be done. The woman I loved is completely gone and I need to move on with the kids for my own sanity and to provide at least one clean, safe home.
H37, W37 D4, S2 ILYBNILWY 9/19 BD 9/19 EA discovered 10/19 Currently in limbo, no D or S process initiated
I am sorry it has come to this but I think under the current circumstances it is your best option. I do not think things were going to change with the two of you living together.
Just be a rock for your kids and they will be fine.
Thank you LH, and those whom posted before my last post.
I dont know what im going to face, hell on earth, her groveling, or a peaceful D. I'm prepared for all three routes. If she tries to work on the M, I know its fake and wont last, just like marriage counseling years ago. My L is confident that I'll have a reasonable outcome.
Ive yet to figure out what to do with the kids, especially with the virus going around. Daycares prob have openings at least, they'll just be highly exposed.
H37, W37 D4, S2 ILYBNILWY 9/19 BD 9/19 EA discovered 10/19 Currently in limbo, no D or S process initiated
I dont know what im going to face, hell on earth, her groveling, or a peaceful D. I'm prepared for all three routes. If she tries to work on the M, I know its fake and wont last, just like marriage counseling years ago. My L is confident that I'll have a reasonable outcome.
Core,
My guess is you will follow none of those 3 routes exactly. Be ready to live in the present, and focus on yourself and your kids.
It's heart-breaking to go through this with kids, I know. But your kids are better off with happy parents than unhappy parents.
I strongly encourage you to take a parenting and/or co-parenting class. I took both in the past year and they helped me immensely - especially the co-parenting class. So much of the advice overlaps with DB. Powerful stuff.
You don't do these things to provoke a reaction. You do them because after thinking calmly and rationally about the situation, you have made your decision and you are okay living with it.
Mind-reading is a waste of your time, your energy, and your life. You cannot predict the future.
Thank you guys. Hard staying away from these boards. I decided to stick around during the process and to just not discuss any of the finer details here.
As usual with my posts, events have me spinning a bit. W was served a couple days ago. She chatted with me a couple times since. Asking me what to do, what I want. Blaming me for filing and not discussing it. Says she was still figuiring out what she wanted to do. She had a few blatant lies in the discussions. What has me confused though is how normal she is acting. Like not angry, not sad. Totally stable. Thats a good thing dont get me wrong. Im surprised to see it. Im surprised she had no plan for Ding yet. None. Not sure what she did the past few months. Im also shocked that someone can be discussing the end of an M with little to no emotion. I realise a part of me was hoping she'd at least be upset. Ive seen myself as valuable so the easy discards affecting me a bit. Also this makes me seem like the crazier unstable one. Such as, how am I the only one upset, how does she have no guilt, if shes this stable while talking D, then surely the problem is me. Easy in those moments of discussions to forget whats occurred the last few months.
I wonder how much W was making up during the chats and what was manipulating. She's talking sense in the discussions or it seems that way.
Its so much more real now. Back when they served her, it felt official. As I've mostly been checked out since March it should be easier but her seeming so normal and stable has me feeling guilty. Time may tell if this was the right choice. I'm inches closer to seeing my kids less, the 2nd worst part of all for me. What they'll feel is the worst. Third worst is raising them solo. Not just a couple years but their whole lives as they are so young.
Hoping you all have some 2x4s or something to club me with. I was 100% sure when I filed, I know shes not good for me, I know I'll be just fine yet my workouts are lacking, anxiety is seeping in a bit more and a few conversations have me doubting what I did was right. Just awful facing the last few days.
H37, W37 D4, S2 ILYBNILWY 9/19 BD 9/19 EA discovered 10/19 Currently in limbo, no D or S process initiated
