I'm sorry he is being such a duck about the children. That is wrong and f-ed up. I know you know that, and I know you'll $uck it up and be the bigger person so that your kids have you to count on and talk to about their feelings. I guess if I try to sit in his position, it is clear that he's really screwed up right now, and it just boils up and over when he gets the slightest poke of reality.
Do you feel that you've gotten back off the roller coaster? I'm in an anxious slash resigned place right now. It feels weird and sad. My IC assigned me to do one thing just for me, to soothe myself, every day. Being present with the children doesn't count. I bought some expensive tiny shampoos and hair masks and moisturizers and took a bath. Took D8 out to dinner just the two of us and had nice wine and a splurgy meal. Didn't pick up the house when I got home even though it is a total wreck, had another glass of wine and downloaded a candy novel (thriller). I don't know if any of that would be things you would do for yourself but hoping you are doing some things just for you that can take your mind off of everything else.
xx M
Me (46) H (42) M:14 T:18, D9 & D11 4/19 - 12/19: series of escalating BDs 9/20 - present: R and piecing
