Originally Posted by Gerda
It might not be possible to see things clearly while you are early in this journey and living with the MLCer. I couldn't.


Darned near impossible in my experience. Gerda's on the money here.


Originally Posted by Gerda

But the problem was that I didn't trust the people on these boards. I thought I was different, and I thought my MLCer was different.


Yup. Been there, done that.. I trusted, to a point. But I was convinced that we could bust this D ...

Originally Posted by Gerda

So let me give you a potentially surprising piece of advice -- don't try to understand anything. Just trust us as witnesses.


She's right. 100%


Originally Posted by Gerda

I think you are trying to fix yourself. You can't do that right now. Get him out of the house and you might be able to start.


Oh Boy. Truer words were never spoken.. Pay attn Card, because Gerd's preaching it.

Originally Posted by Gerda
Right now just trust the old folks and do what we say. DnJ did everything right probably. But I didn't. Took me seven years. Now I get it.


Doesn't matter if we do everything right or not or some combo thereof - the MLCr's trip is their own, unique to them.

M 20+ T25+
S ~15.5 (BD)
BD 4/6/15
D 12/23/16

"Someone I loved once gave me
A box full of darkness.
It took me years to understand,
That this too, was a gift."
~ Mary Oliver