Gordie...I'm glad to see your name across my screen. I wish it were for better reasons.
I'm sorry to hear your W is still on the same path. I imagine covid isn't making that any easier. Your dedication is inspiring to me. I like the way Gerda put it, but I also think what Andrew said rings true. Sounds like your W has made efforts which definitely says something about her internal dialog, but she hasn't HAD to deal with her inner demons so she puts it off and maintains the status quo. That has to be a miserable experience for her. It can't be easy to live with someone you love who feels like that and treats you the way she does, after all the previously happy years.
There are so many bright people on this site that have great advise, all I can really add is to remind you that none of this is your doing. You didn't ask for this and don't deserve it, so try not to take it personally (I roll my eyes at myself for that as that seems almost impossible sometimes). This is and always has been about her. If there wasn't something inside her reminding her of her true self and how she really feels, subconscious or not, she would not still be under the same roof as you. Make sure you take care of you so you can take care of the kids...and W. If you aren't doing great its hard to make sure others are.
Hang in there...you have friends here. #teamgordie
