That is a more than fair question and one that I have asked myself more than once. And it's part of the reason why I came back here because the people here have been through this and they ask the uncomfortable and politically incorrect questions--and I like that! I have a close friend IRL and he and I have talked about that in depth (his wife left him and his kids several years ago).
I agree with your assessment of my wife's lack of interest in putting any effort into the m. She isn't and I think right now...she just can't. And right now, in the middle of it, it's not terrible but it's not a lot of fun either. As you said, I can only control me, and I choose to stand. It's what I believe. It's the "for better and for worse, in sickness and in health" vows.
I think of heartsblessing and other standers here and they warned me upfront...this was going to take a lot of time...maybe 10 years! and standing would be the hardest thing that I would ever do.
Gordie 40s W 40s M20+ kids 2016 BD W fantasy affair w OM1 I do everything wrong 2017 I start to DB W says TLTL files for D PA w OM2 2018 I do LRT W drops filing and OM2 situation slowly improving
