May, thank you for the great advice on my thread. I’m going to answer there later, but just wanted to say how proud of you I am in your situation. I think you are doing amazing in your boundaries and resolve and I can SO relate to the hopeful, ‘trusting fool’ that you are. That’s me to a T, and regardless of where things go in my R, I am proud to be an optimistic, ‘trusting of humankind’ member of society. You should be too.
I also just need to take an (un-evolved) moment to say how much I hate WhatsApp. OW is the only American H speaks with on that app and although it is a mainstay communication app for the rest of the world, it seems to be only used in our country for hidden communication. Deleting it isn’t possible for us, due to family and friends that only use it to communicate with us, but FFS. I HATE IT.
Rant over.
Reading your update, from the hopeful eyes of another ‘trusting fool’, I think that you and H are on the right path. It seems you are navigating his view of your ‘control’ issues with your reasonable expectations of his actions with grace. And it reads as though your H is slowly starting to understand where both he and you are at. Having said that, I am sure there will be some unexpected twists. Such as his depression at the end of their affair (which may not hit until you are on your camper-van way). What can you do now to steel yourself against that sort of emotional onslaught? Especially considering that your H ‘needs’ to process those types of emotions with you? In addition to being a sister in ‘trusting fools’ I am also your sister in needing to plan. Are your boundaries firm enough to deal with that right now? If not, how can you make them stronger?
You are doing amazing all considering and I am so hopeful for the directions things are going with your situation.
