I have been putting extra repayments on the mortgage as well as into savings. I have a meeting with my financial advisor next week to start talking about investment possibilities. Definitely thinking about long-term plans. My priorities are:
1. Financial security 2. Enriching S2’s life 3. Investing in S2’s future 4. Enriching my own life 5. Investing in a comfortable living space
After a discussion with my lawyer yesterday, we are proceeding with the sole application for divorce. X will be served the papers in person informing him that I have filed and there will be a hearing on x date. He can either sign on the spot to acknowledge receipt, or refuse to do so. In that case, the process server will sign an affidavit proving delivery of the papers, and we’ll proceed with the hearing regardless. There’s no reason why the divorce wouldn’t be granted, from what I understand. Thirty days after the judgement, I will finally be divorced. My lawyer said it will be done over Zoom so it should be pretty straightforward. I hope.
It’s like pulling teeth, but the end is in sight. Soon he won’t be my ex, just my kid’s dad. I know technically he is my ex, but the distinction feels important to me. I don’t want him to be ‘my anything’.
S2 said he went to OW’s parents farm on the weekend. I admit to wondering how her parents feel about their 21 year old daughter dating a 29 year old separated man with a 2 year old son. My mum said she would have looked askance if any of her daughters had been involved in such a situation at that age. I’m absolutely certain the question of an affair runs through older and wiser minds in most of these situations.
I’m going on a date with another new man this weekend. He is also a LBS with a D2 and we have heaps in common. The thing I like the most is that he has so far demonstrated a complete lack of entitlement. What’s the opposite of entitlement - consideration? For instance, I told him I liked xyz and he replied that he hoped it wasn’t a dealbreaker for me that he wasn’t into xyz. Whereas other men I’ve talked to, and X for that matter, would have said it was a dealbreaker for them that I was into xyz.
I’ve talked to dozens of men in the past year and this man makes me feel safe. I read a dating theory that feeling ‘sparks’ is just your nervous system’s flight or fight response to perceived or subconscious danger - in dating, that would be negging, lying, avoidance, and other behavioural red flags. There have been no red flags in our conversations so far. So we shall see what happens when we meet in person.
