This stuff is hard. I would lie if I didn't say I didn't obsess for much of my sitch. I can remember going to work and all I did was try to find her online presences. Whether it was Facebook, or dating sites or the online singing app she was spending so much time on. And then when I found them, tracking her activity on them. It was exhausting. And on top of it I was sleeping terribly. So I was mentally exhausted. Physically exhausted. Emotionally exhausted. Yet still obsessed with it.
It wasn't until I got myself to a place where I just didn't care anymore. I didn't care what she was doing online and on apps. I got to a point where I could lay my head down at night not only not caring what she did but excited for my future when I had this person that was taking up so much of my headspace as peripheral to my life.
Here is the thing....he can feel your obsession. He can feel you worrying and analyzing and wondering. And that gives him a sense of power over you. And it gives him a sense of security.....knowing his safety net is securely in place.
So how do you start to remove yourself as that safety net? Because I can tell you, that as long as he can do whatever he wants whenever he wants and still come home to you as his safety net, he will continue to do what he is doing.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
