This has been a hard month for me. We had to put our pet down this week, that we got together when we first moved in together, almost 20 years ago. I loved that little guy and it broke my heart. He has been off and on this past month - which I know to expect, but it's really starting to take a toll on me. Usually we'd be camping together, doing things as a family etc. This summer, there's none of that, no camps for the kids to give me a break. I am home all day with the kids, he comes home, hangs in the living room with the kids, but not interacting, just on his phone. Comes up, eats the supper I make, chills for 20 minutes and then goes back to hide in the living room all night or goes out.
Some weeks he tells me when he's going and where, asks if I need anything, etc. Buys me the special treat that I told him before to stop buying because to me, it's his way of saying I love you (Which he did stop for awhile, but then started again)
Other weeks, like tonight, he just tells the kids to hurry up and brush their teeth cause he's going out. Then tells me he'll be back later and leaves.
I try not to obsess and I was doing so well for awhile. But now? For some reason I'm really struggling. I check to see if he has his work stuff to try to determine where he's going and what he's doing. I analyze what he's wearing etc.
I need to figure out how to stop this. I try to tell myself to stop but it's about effective as telling the rain to stop. I know part of it is that I'm mad cause I want to go out. But the only way to get out of the house first is to literally run out the door before he says something, which he usually does as soon as he gets in the door.
How can I stop obsessing and worrying and over analyzing and wondering?
