Haha, easier said than done, IW! I was trying to take things slow but my new man (and maybe hormones, being honest) have had other ideas. However, my new man has been quite awkward the last few days. There are some things about him which, lovely though he is, might be too big a stumbling block to us having a future. We will see. I'm actually ok about it ending or continuing, I just refuse to make my future happiness contingent upon a relationship ever again. So I asked him to back off for a bit, if he throws a tantrum and dumps me then that would be doing me a favour as I'm not sure I could be with someone too emotionally volatile. I had that with H! Part of me worries that new man has too much in common with younger H, even though many of those qualities are positive. I'm happy either way
Hi dilly -
Everyone has to do what they feel is the right thing for themselves, especially after the huge amount of trauma we have all been through.
This is only from my view so take it with a grain of salt - part of the reason I am not interested in dating or meeting new people is precisely what you wrote about above. I feel I'm just done. Really and truly. I dont have the energy or the time or the patience to put on all the airs of courting or whatever that passes for these days. I'm almost 50 - I've done all that before and I did not particularly enjoy it the first time around.
Plus i know without a doubt that it would take quite a while (ATM feels like 5 years maybe even 10) before i would not project my current situation forward into any new one. I'm already distrusting people as a result of all of this - something I'm working on in IC.
That being said I know feelings do change. But for the interim I feel getting myself back is of top priority at the moment, and if someone isn't okay with that - there are lots of other fish in the sea - go for it! Lol
Anyway the reason I wrote all that is to say that you have the right to go as fast or as slow as you want. You have the control here - if buddy boy is going too fast and you're not comfortable with it, you're well within your rights to tell him to back off. After all we've all been through h3ll and do not need more drama in our lives
