Hi sweetie. I am sorry you were upset by seeing M. I get it. I really do. It is disconcerting regardless of whether he was the one for you. The fact is that you had feelings for him and his boy and it hurt you to see him. I also think that the way things ended also has a lot to do with it. He never fully explained. He was kind of leading you to believe that he was in.
So, sit with the feelings a little while and then let them wash over you. Because you know that there wasnt really a future with him...as much as there was the idea of it.
I am sorry you are struggling so much. I am going through some myself. But you are a strong, wonderful woman and you will get through it all as you always do.
Still want you to think about doing something different somehow in your life...change it up some...movement forward sometimes brings exactly what we want....now i have to take my own advice...
