Trying to control your H on who he dates or when he introduces them to the kids. You could have an agreement but it would never be legally binding. You could potentially rant and rave and get yourself all upset when it does happen... what do you gain? You are potentially creating a bigger world of hurt for yourself.
You have to picture a life of D that you have no say in Hs life or what he does with the kids when he is with them... that rule goes both ways.
I feel you are just spinning your wheels trying to place rules on your H of what life will be if you D. Just as you find it ridiculous that he is going to continue to live at your home like a happy family until night time... that's how he is going to ser your rules.
If you are looking at S or D you need to limit thoughts to what you can do legally and what you truly have control of which is just yourself.
Maybe putting that focus 100% back on yourself is what you need to strive for. If you are thinking about D you are going to have to come to terms that your children will not be with you every morning. It's a terrible thought... it nearly broke me when my son was just 2... but you find a new normal. And, it does get to the point that you are ready for those breaks when they are away because you make the most if when you have them.
I'm sorry your H is so wishy washy and living in fantasy world. The back and forth of it all has to be exhausting.
