I think him being an hour and a half away with children wouldn't have worked for either of you. Been there, done that...it was difficult over time. He should have said something to you regardless but people are who they are and unfortunately, I am finding, many aren't very considerate.
I get what you are feeling. I do. Little family, friends coupled up...been there too, and it was not fun. And you have been for a long time. I'm sorry you are feeling sad.
Remember I told you that I think you should change things up? If you keep doing the same things, you get the same results. I also think that what you show the world reflects back to you. And I could feel how much you want a relationship all the way over here. I get that, too. It is nice to share your life with someone.
And while you may think you are not wearing that on you, you are. It is in subtle ways for sure. How can you not be? You are depressed, lonely, sad. That shows. Trust me...i have been and still am most of those things and people know it as much as I try to hide it.
I could tell you that you have a lot of great things in your life and that is true...great daughter, career, you own your own home, you are beautiful inside and out, funny as hel1, wonderful personality, etc. And all of that is amazing, but, I know that one thing you really want is a healthy, connected relationship.
So, what is one thing you can do differently that you haven't tried? Have you tried joining groups doing things you enjoy? I know that is hard now during a pandemic but wont always be. Have you tried changing your mindset and to really embrace all you have and understand that you can have a great life without someone? Because it is usually when you begin to accept that fully that someone walks into your life.
I so want you to be joy filled, my friend. You are in my prayers always.
