I like that saying of LH's that Cwarrior quoted. Personally, I decided that I was not going to be the one to file in my sitch. I thought about it many times, mostly as a way to get her attention. Ultimately, I knew that I had been a very bad husband and that I repeatedly drove my wife away. I never once imagined she would go full WW, but that just shows my arrogance and I definitely reaped what I sowed.
Do you mind if I ask how you eventually came to peace with that?
I don't think I was an awful husband, but I've certainly come to grips with how my NGS severely affected things. I'm glad that I'm working on it and am making strides on it, but I still feel lots of guilt.
Originally Posted by ovrrnbw
I actually think it's your internal discourse that is doing the damage. Uncertainty is abound in life. Since this uncertainty isn't in your control, it's neither good nor bad.
I can buy this. As you can probably tell from my posts over the threads, I've never been able to do a good job of controlling the narrative of my own thoughts. Even now I struggle with the idea that I'm going to OK, that the best days are ahead of me. I know that's true, but it's hard for me to use that to shut out the present feelings. I guess that's got a lot to do with the above, and not being able to forgive myself.
Originally Posted by ovrrnbw
Did you promise her through good times and bad or was it until you grew apart type vows? Would keeping your promise be something you can be proud of and do you want to say "I fulfilled my promise"?
I have my vows saved somewhere on this computer, but I don't really want to pull them up because it'll hurt too much to read them. But I am 100% sure that I said that I'd be there for her, always, no matter what, and never give up. Again, I feel lots of shame for the actions that led to the S, but I can surely say that I did not give up.
