One of my close friends thinks that the reason why I'm in this funk is because I know it's over, and I know what I have to do but I just can't bring myself to do it. It's hard to disagree. I think if anyone else in the world came to me describing the scenario I'm in, I'd tell them to cut the cord and turn the page.
I do believe it's this limbo and uncertainty which is doing all of the damage. When I left my job last year, I was hurt but also excited in a way -- I was now free to start a new company and get back to doing what I loved. I haven't been able to have that moment with this sitch. I guess it's coming soon.
I reviewed your last two threads and agree with your friend and Steve85. It's been over a year--limbo (doing nothing, legal separation) is not getting you to R. D and moving on seems wise. Not because your wife is evil, just because life is limited and you've already gifted her a year of limbo. A+ for effort. As you say cutting the chord is painful, and no guarantees, but therein lies hope and possibilities.
I love LH's words, combined with the action (always actions) of serving her for D--"Honey I love you and adore you and would love to work together on the marriage. I love myself too much to not stand by while you are on dating apps and dating another men. This does not work for me. Either we work on the marriage together or we D and go our separate ways." That sounds like the kick-ass, high-value, No More Mr. Nice Guy type you've been trying to get to. Can't wait to see you get there. Obviously, you should only do that when you can sit with that choice for a couple weeks and are okay with a D outcome.
