It's reconciling knowing you can't love some one any more with knowing how much you used to love them.
This feels like the thing I’ve been scared of that I haven’t been able to put my finger on. This is part of the grief that feels bottomless right now, I think, because it seems like something that will never 100% go away, even if it returns for only two seconds. This is the part that “moving on” doesn’t quite cover. Who knows, I’ve never had to go through something like this, so I don’t know what I’m talking about, but with D moving forward and AP already in the picture, this is where I am right now—grieving that, at least for right now, I can’t love him. Not in the same way.
Wooba, I don’t mean to hijack your thread! It feels to me that you have been grieving a little in this new stage with your H, but you seem much further along than I am in acceptance and in feeling strong in yourself. I think it’s been hard for me to make the progress I would have liked to make while living with him. But you give me hope that I am on my way to a stronger place, even if my road has been/is longer to get there.
