Living with a WAS/MLC husband...who does not care

[BlueSea]

By no means are things great. He is still distant. And I do give him a lot of space still. When I do speak with him, he offers a lot of advice (which I take as a good sign) I see it as a guys way to show caring.

When I felt a boundary being crossed (on plain civility) I let him know that we are both on the fence now..so stop being an a@@hole - that doesn't accomplish anything - just be nice/kind- fake it if you have to - because whether its M or co-parenting - its an investment. We do have an occasional R talk. I have made changes for myself not to accommodate his behaviors and the expectation is that there will be changes on his part. He gets it, I have eaten my fair share of sh!t sandwiches, its time to see if there is something viable.

For my part
I make every effort to let go of anger and forgive. I make effort to turn towards, when I see him doing that, EVEN if its hard. When he extends his hand I take it. I am not over trying - but we BOTH have to push ourselves to do these things - we do not like each other right now, I think. And for where we are at, that is okay - you don't come out of this 'in like' - right now the history, the kids, the enmeshed life is holding us together (not fear LH).

It will evolve if we keep tending it. I refuse to play a role or put rose color glasses on, I am being me, no facades, we both have to go into this with open eyes.