Thanks all for the input. I definitely didn't intend it as paying her to spend time with me, but I can understand how it might come across that way. I just view it as taking a leadership role and setting up a plan for how we actually address the issues.
So if I can sort of summarize this, I've got three options:
1. Sign the separation agreement, but only with my eyes 100% wide open: whatever she gets in the agreement should be considered a gift, and I need to be fully comfortable and accepting of that. Further, I can make a request about how we should go about what's next, but that is fully contingent on her and should not be tied to my signing of the agreement, nor should I be upset if the request is denied.
2. Say "screw it", file for divorce. Let the chips fall where they may, but walk away with my head held as high as it can be given the scenario.
3. Punt everything, go NC. I don't have to do #1 or #2; for as much as I hate this uncertainty and limbo, I can choose to simply focus on myself and my continued progress.
Again to be clear, none of this has happened yet. She will get a revised separation agreement back from her lawyer, we'll discuss the percentages again, and that's where we'll be.
