Second, when I say that I want to see her at least once a week, this is a part of the condition of me signing this agreement. This is my boundary.
Steve, reading this I was definitely smacked with--"Wow! You're paying her to spend time with you. That looks desperate and controlling." Boundaries protect you. They don't control others.
Originally Posted by Allison
NMMNG is about being clear on what you need, yes. But your needs don't automatically translate into a demand for someone else.
Allison breaks it down very well.
You can be clear that you'll only eat at Brazilian restaurants that serve Caiparinhas, but you don't want to be that guy who tries to argue and force a local Brazilian restaurant to serve you a Caiparihnha.
Originally Posted by SteveS
I'm having a really hard time squaring all of this up. NMMNG tells me I need to be clear about what I need, and hold the line on those things. Wisdom on here is to give her even more space than she asks for - which is exactly what I've done so far. Those two ideas seem in opposition.
Well, do you want to gift her 15% of your company? If yes, then do so, no strings or conditions.
Have you told her you want to spend 1hr/week with her? Great--you've been clear about your needs! What did she say? Accept her decision. Do whatever you need to accept that reality. Whatever you were hoping to get from her you will have to figure out how to fulfill on your own or with somebody else.
