My story, trial separation for now, Part 4

[LH19]

I guess I don't understand. She's said that she needs this agreement in place in order to determine how we move forward. .

See right here she is manipulating you. You are a smart guy. Do you really need a separation agreement to work on the marriage?

How is that possible unless we're actually getting together and working through things, having those tough conversations? .

I 100% agree but it can't be because you force it. It has to be her idea. That's the only way it works out.

I don't want to live in the ambiguity and uncertainty anymore. Without this boundary, I'd potentially be signing up for even more ambiguity. Okay, we signed this agreement. Now what? More months of basically NC? .

Steve you are signing a separation agreement that means you are separated. It may lead to recon and it may lead to D. By signing this you are agreeing to uncertainty and more limbo.

I'm having a really hard time squaring all of this up. NMMNG tells me I need to be clear about what I need, and hold the line on those things. Wisdom on here is to give her even more space than she asks for - which is exactly what I've done so far. Those two ideas seem in opposition..

Fine. Honey I love you and adore you and would love to work together on the marriage. I love myself too much to not stand by while you are on dating apps and dating another men. This does not work for me. Either we work on the marriage together or we D and go our separate ways.

I'm not trying to be difficult, I'm just trying to understand but I do very much appreciate everyone's candor.

I know Steve this is difficult and certainly not easy.