Thanks Alison! Well it's been 2 weeks on Tuesday since I met the Youngster (he has other nicknames with other friends but that can be his on here lol) We've spent a lot of time together though he got a job at last and it's full time so I can't see quite as much of him. He works odd days and shifts though so we will manage somehow as my life is full but fairly flexible. Husband is taking the kids away for about 10 days at the end of the month so I will probably move in for that time and he's wangling some time off to come and visit me here 'in my natural habitat' lol. The sex is frankly astonishing, and he is very tactile beyond sex, which I really like. Snogging on the beach with a bottle of wine is a lovely way to spend the day More than that though I've really become very attached to him. I think I love him although it's early days. He's very outspoken and says what's on his mind, even if it's something he thinks I might not like (but in a nice way). He's unbelievably perceptive, he's said things about me which my counsellor never worked out in 6 months. He's also very honest about his own feelings and will say if he's feeling vulnerable about something. He says he's never felt like this about anyone else, but also that if I decided to get back together with my husband then that would be ok with him, he just wants me to be happy. I think he genuinely means that, he has so much less competitiveness and ego compared with my husband it's amazing! He's looked after me very well when I've stayed over, cooking me delicious meals and buying me tiny presents even though he's currently broke. I know this is all the early stages where everything is lovely, but we feel very comfortable together and talk for hours. I hope it lasts, I can see myself living with him in the future maybe. He's very respectful of me needing to do stuff or spend time with my kids, and I look forward to being able to introduce them. I think they'd get on well together. He's the opposite of H in many ways. Very calm and laid back which is not something H ever was!!
One thing which I'm surprised at is how much I enjoy sharing bits of my life and both happy and sad memories from my past. I thought H leaving had contaminated those for good, but it turns out with someone I really care for it's lovely. I think leaving it so long before dating was a good decision. Before I started dating the idea of a new relationship felt like enormously hard work and the thought of getting to know someone new seemed exhausting. I'm enjoying every minute of it right now though!
I started the divorce stuff going ahead, the lawyer has drafted a letter and suggests I tell H before sending it. There is a lot of admin to do which is going to be time consuming and a pain but will be worth it. I am happy to go ahead with D now. I actually hope H and I can be friendly if not friends, I think it's possible if he can get over me being with someone else. He seems happier with his new puppy. I hope he finds happiness. I suspect he won't and is not capable of it, but I do wish him well. I guess that's the ultimate detachment! I hope the finances side of D will be amicable and as easy as possible.
So, that's my update. I was happy before meeting the Youngster and now I really am as happy as it is possible to be. I'd like to spend more time with him but am in a very contented place and getting on with life stuff as much as possible when I'm not with him. I actually have a bike ride planned with the bloke I dated first as we've been texting each other and we like each other as friends. He and the Youngster have a bit of banter going via me, it's quite funny. I think he's a bit jealous of me finding someone I like so much but that gives him something to aim for! It's nice to have a male friend and he makes me laugh a lot, I give him dating advice too which he usually ignores My life has improved so much in the last few months I sometimes have to pinch myself! Long may it last
More than that though I've really become very attached to him. I think I love him although it's early days. He's very outspoken and says what's on his mind, even if it's something he thinks I might not like (but in a nice way). He's unbelievably perceptive, he's said things about me which my counsellor never worked out in 6 months. He's also very honest about his own feelings and will say if he's feeling vulnerable about something. He says he's never felt like this about anyone else, but also that if I decided to get back together with my husband then that would be ok with him, he just wants me to be happy. I think he genuinely means that, he has so much less competitiveness and ego compared with my husband it's amazing! He's looked after me very well when I've stayed over, cooking me delicious meals and buying me tiny presents even though he's currently broke. I know this is all the early stages where everything is lovely, but we feel very comfortable together and talk for hours. I hope it lasts, I can see myself living with him in the future maybe. He's very respectful of me needing to do stuff or spend time with my kids, and I look forward to being able to introduce them. I think they'd get on well together. He's the opposite of H in many ways. Very calm and laid back which is not something H ever was!!