At one point, he came around to the house (while we were separated) - he wanted to, he'd asked to - I hadn't been chasing him in that moment. I cooked him a meal. The dog jumped up on the sofa and caught my knitting and I said H's name loudly to get his attention (there was no 'tone' at all - I just wanted his help because my hands were full cooking for us all) and he had a massive tantrum at me speaking disrespectfully to him and left. Another time he had a tantrum because at some point - possibly years before - I had let one of my houseplants die. Another time, he had a tantrum because I hadn't washed the fruit prior to putting it in the bowl. I am talking full on tantrums, with massive lists of everything that was wrong with me, and reasons why everyone I knew was just pretending to like me. I found it very hurtful.
You H is not capable of going what you want him to do. He may even, at times, want to do it himself. But he can't. He CANNOT even consistently act like a decent man around you. You have to give him a wide berth. You can't have money conversations with him (read my threads) or any other type of conversation. He isn't capable of it. Do essential money things via solicitors and otherwise, step back and avoid him like the plague. Really. Read my threads. My H was exactly like this - irrationally angry, unpredictably triggered, nasty nasty nasty. If you ever do get to piecing you don't want to be around him when he's in this mood because - I speak from personal experience - it's just too difficult to forgive. Worse than the EA.
