Finding and living compassionate indifference

[Gerda]

((((Cardinal)))))

If you ever have the chance to look at my first threads, and then my latest threads, it can give you some insight.

Not that it will go that way for you. I still believe restoration is possible for many people.

But just for you to see how in the early stages, we are so submissive, so unsure, still trying, still thinking that the minute-by-minute means anything.

I always wanted a script of what to say, so I will give you one, take or leave!

I understand you want to start a new life and you do not want to be married to me anymore. I don't believe that what you are doing is right or good for either of us and I do not want to split up, but I accept your choice and need space and time to heal and to be able to live my own life. Out of respect for our marriage, I cannot have you living here while you are in a relationship with someone else; you need to move out right away, even if you have to stay with friends, but you can leave your things here until next month.

I want to stay here. We can get the house appraised next month to figure out the equity and come up with a list of any other assets and debts which we can use as a credit toward my share of equity. I will be able to buy you out by next summer for whatever remains from that. In the meantime, I can pay 75% of the mortgage (100 if you can, even if you have to AirB a room, it's worth your freedom!) We can put that in an agreement now or reconvene about it next spring.

The door may be open for you down the line, but right now I need space to heal. Please respect that.

Don't doubt yourself, Cardinal! Do what you have to do to be truly alone and have peace. I promise you,it will feel better when you don't have to see him anymore. There is a reason to go dark. It won't fix him. It will help you. If you want to keep standing, keep a corner of your heart open for him. But let yourself heal.