No changes on WAW - Pack_19 Part II

[Pack_19]

hi Steve, Sandi,

Thanks a lot for your posts. I have re-read my last post and after your reply I can see how pathetic and anti-DB my attitude centered on WAW is. Believe it or not I can have some good days when I see your points and my mistakes crystal clear.

I do have big issues I want to fix for me. I have made exercise a big part of my life now, as it was when I was a teenager, I dont know why I stopped that, it keeps me in a good mood and boosts my confidence. I was also excessively focused on my career and making big money, now I am starting to enjoy calling my friends who live closely to go for a coffee or a beer and I had serious active listening issues I am trying to delete. This is only a little taste of the many things I want to change for me and it is really for me. I was not happy inside my M either, I am trying to analyze my faults were applicable to delete them, not for her, to make me a better person.

Not that I blame W but she has hurt me so badly with words that I give too much importance to every little thing she says, I need to get better there. I will work on getting better at being independent, detaching and GAL for myself.

@Steve, thanks a lot for your opinion and help, you have made me see my previous post in a very different way.

@Sandi, I never meant to ask for financial help, I wanted your objective opinion on whether she is manipulating me, I am sorry I did not made that clear. I genuinely expected a different course in those conversations, it seems all she cares about now is having her expenses covered. Again that is not a excuse to keep undergoing such conversations.

I have started an instagram account, my friends told me is a great way to socialize nowadays, let's see! So far I am posting about cars and fun moments with friends and I think that is all I want reflected there. I saw one of W's best friends yesterday and she pretended not to see me and looked around for all the time I walked pass. This has happened before, I always think I would say hello, I have nothing against you, but W must have told friends I made her very unhappy (more crazy WAW talk!).

I am picking up the kids today! I bought a plastic pool for the house in the Sierra and we can also go to the beach with my parents, not sure what they will prefer but for sure we are going to have a great time! S1 will be 2 next week, S6 wants to throw a party under the theme of Hotel Transylvania so I will go and get decorations, make Frankenstein punch and other things to have a great time!

Sometimes I think it would her so much if W was with OP that I force myself to avoid seeing our M as over, I cant seem to make that pain go away from my chest. I truly think if I could let go of that pain and fear, I would do much better.

Again thanks a lot to all of you, I know I am a bad DB but I will work on improving that, you deserve to see some good work on my side after all the time you have invested on my sitch.

((hugs))
Pack