Like OverTheRainbow, I don't see the Mother-Daughter interaction as terrible. If D4 got distracted, she wasn't careful, which means she either didn't listen to or ignored mom's instructions.
Originally Posted by Core
I know validating isnt agreeing but I am not going to validate something thats invalid.
Validating is acknowledging their feelings--e.g., sad, angry, frustrated, etc. A feeling isn't wrong or invalid. Facts may be. Actions may be. Responding defensively won't help your relationship--romantic or coparenting.
Originally Posted by Core
W: it feels like your blaming me Core: im sorry you feel that way, work is important and Im not going to push the limits on my time. Ill take them out after work.
She FEELS LIKE you're blaming her. This is a great time for an intervention! You: Oh no! What do you feel like I'm blaming you for? Her: Obviously, for D4 missing out on daddy time during lunch. You: I think D4 will be almost as happy to have daddy time while you get your medicine. Her: But you two will miss Spongebob. The Spongebob finale! You: Your medicine's important. I suspect D4 would be just as happy this one time.. if we recorded Spongebob and then set aside a special time to watch it tonight.. with popcorn!
Originally Posted by Core
W: youre blaming me and making me angry. I tired of being angry at you so often. This continued on till I told her I had to work.
She's ANGRY and says you're actually blaming her. This is a great time for an intervention! You: Wow. I can see you're angry. Her: Yes. Again. You: I'm sorry I wasn't listening a minute ago. It sounds like you feel like I'm blaming you. Is that right? Her: Yes! I feel like you're blaming me. You: What do you feel like I'm blaming you for?
