Ending Limbo

[Core]

If you're only giving it a week until you contact your lawyer well then I doubt anything will change.

Same here, if there was going to be a change, it wouldve happened already or it'll be years down the road.

I can tell you are still caught up in the storm with her. A divorce doesn't change that, ask Wolfman.

I believe it'll lessen it at least.

I would focus on detaching, self improvement, and being conscious when you talk to her. Can you honestly say that you've been "doing what works"? You state that she needs help, therapy, and to change her victim mindset. That's your opinion, sure, but you have zero control over her. Why not shift the focus to something you do control?

Nothing works. On days that we seemed to be having fun and getting along, she still saying awful things behind my back. My improvements can go far to help me and the kids, I've no doubt about it. What I cant control is Ws constant anger and issues which the kids are exposed to. What I can do is cut that exposure in half.

When you said this, I bet she was thinking "F#$& YOU".

I'm sure she was thinking that first think in the AM before we even chatted. I guess I dont know how to respond in those situations. I know validating isnt agreeing but I am not going to validate something thats invalid. Im no longer letting myself be responsible for her feelings and actions and she was trying darn hard to put it on me. I just told her I'm done talking. She berating me in front of the kids for a few more minutes then huffed and puffed outta the room.

These types of thoughts are for you and probably aren't well received when you share them with her.

What should one say when someone makes you an attacker and themselves a victim? I cant valid that. What I said I agree was probably one of the worse things I could say.

Why aren't you GAL? Why aren't you focused on actions over words? Your deeds can be of a much greater value.

I was working in my basement office when this all happened. GALing is going pretty well during my off hours. Will be better once the gym opens. To your other points, Im still letting W knock me off center. I cannot stand irrational people so you can only imagine how much I dislike a WW. I wont stand for being accused of things that didnt happen and play in to her narrative. I could not forcefully remove her from my office without facing a DV charge. Besides using more appropriate words, I dont know what else couldve been done.

Im at one year of physical and emotional abandonment just about and with my glasses no longer being rose tinted I see all the years worth of garbage. Im waiting a week on the lawyer as I know the confrontation threw me off but I see absolutely nothing worth saving in this M. The kids are better off with one parent being healthy instead of watching the healthier one get continually punished by the unhealthy.