To the controlling man, boundaries feel like oppression.
This is GOLD.
My H feels controlled when I don't allow him to have tantrums in the same room as me. Now, the man is totally free to have a tantrum in whichever room in the house he chooses. He can rant and swear and foam and scream and blame and use all the curse words his hearts desire. He can do it as often as he likes for as long as he likes. And when he starts, I leave the room so he can fully enjoy his tantrum in peace and privacy.
He finds this a controlling move on my part, limiting him in what he is allowed to say and how he can express himself in our marriage. It's very horrible for him. He told me the other day that he felt 'cancelled'.
The only thing he isn't able to control in that situation is my response to his tantrums. And THAT is the bit he doesn't like.
I think this applies very clearly to your situation May. VERY clearly.
