I have some thoughts to the source of my spinning. It's a battle of two belief systems.
Set A: Fight for marriage till the bitter end, kids need two parents in one home, god is pro marriage, W can be forgiven, you love w and are attracted to her most times just not at the moment, divorce will cause shame, life will be worse after.
Set B: You're holding on to a dead marriage, W forsake god and the marriage-this makes it ok and advisable to D, you dont love her and arent attracted to her-did you ever?, the kids are worse off the longer this lasts, divorce will help to achieve goals and thus happiness, you cant forgive W, life will be better after D, W doesnt deserve you and you deserve better, if Im only holding on for the kids then there is nothing worth saving.
Reality is probably inbetween these two however I keep trying to pick one mindset or the other.
core, I feel your pain and I'm going through the exact same thing. Tonight, my WW has gone off to see OM and stay the night with him, then she'll come back home to me and my two kids.
My kids say they stopped caring about the situation because they have no power to control things and neither do I.
I work remotely due to Covid and just counting down the weeks till she moves out. First she wanted to buy me out but couldn't afford to. Then she got a better job and wanted to move in with OM. Then OM broke up with her and she wanted to buy a house. Now she's back with OM but wants to move into her own place. It changes every week.
