Nothing Left To Try

[BlueSea]

That is too easy an exit...."wife trading out the responsible, loving husband for an exciting new boyfriend". There is more to it than this. Its going to take some introspection to understand what were the motives behind her leaving. I have had a lot of time to understand what growth I need to be a better person and better partner.

Spiral, you had mentioned she had a complaint about you working too late/often and then you brushed it off with "Of course, I had to work hard to maintain our lifestyle"...so there is a piece to that puzzle. You listed off a lot of things as your expression of love, and it seemed that they were mostly action/service oriented - and on paper this sounds great - but was this HER love language that she wanted/needed?

I am not trying to point any blame here at all - I would be the last to do this - but I don't think it had to do with you being too responsible or too boring (sounds like you both did a lot). There are always 2 perceptions to one reality. Be astute, what do you see the OM offering her as far as efforts in building his fairy-tale with her?

You may not do anything with this info for this R (possibly) - but knowing the why will help you for you and your next R. From what I heard from my WAH, during all this, we are very much still on their minds - they may not show it - but there is guilt there and internal conflict. Never give up. Just start thinking what it could have been, and sincerely apologize for it - once - and no more, and go back to your DB. Apologize for the long hours at work complaint, in passing - "I am sorry that I spent so much time at work, I knew that it bothered you because you wanted me to be at home with you more, just wanted you to know that, so sorry". That's it.