Clearly he didn’t understand what FIRE is all about!!! Or more likely, he just used it as leverage to punish you for not bringing in your usual income during maternity leave.
Enjoy your pergola. Enjoy your dining table. Read Your Money or Your Life - it’s not about grinding frugality, but about being conscious about your financial choices and the trade offs therein. Spend your money on the things that have most value to you, and save on the things that don’t.
I don’t spend a lot of money on clothes - I buy cute things from a discount store but have never paid more than $40 for a handbag. Designer names mean nothing to me. But I love to travel, and make that a priority. Somebody else might make different choices.
My ex made twice what I did even after accounting for alimony - and he’s remarried to a woman with a good income too. Yet he claims he’s too poor to help our adult children - truth is he’s simply too selfish. Aiding our children is not a priority for him, but it is for me. I pay for a much bigger home than I would need for myself and give up travel to help them get established.
Keep building your savings so that you have 6 months of 12 months living expenses - as a single parent, you’ll sleep well at night once you do. But don’t live a life that feels like deprivation either. Figure out what matters most to you. I’ve never driven a luxury car - I tend to buy a new, base model Honda or Toyota and drive it into the ground. But I’ve been to 15 countries and all over the US. My plain car doesn’t feel like deprivation because I know I have traded it for exciting travel. Others might choose the fancy car and not miss the travel. Awareness of the choices you are making is key. Most people just mindlessly spend on things the television tells them to buy.
