I wonder May, if you can make some decisions now that would get you towards a good divorce or a good marriage? I think those decisions are fundamentally the same - respect for yourself, clear communication, respect for the autonomy of others, honest about your needs and desires, etc etc. You don't have to decide what path you are on yet.
And in your situation, I think for either a good marriage or a good divorce, the pair of you need to experience you saying NO to your husband's manipulation, and him accepting that.
