It is OK to be sad. You've been so incredibly strong through all of this, it probably is hard to have those emotions bubbling back up... but you've got this. It is okay to grieve what you had and who your H was. Don't let his problems erase your good memories of what you had together in the past.
I think your H is very lost and confused and depressed and the alcoholism exacerbates all of that. Hopefully, you can get back to a place where it doesn't matter why he is behaving how he is, or if he was like this before, or will change back at some point... the fact that he is, now, and it isn't acceptable to you, and that is all you really need to know. (Go back and read your own posts from last week!)
Take some space, hug your kids, do something nice with them or just for yourself.
Also, good that your parents are there too... no need to rush into anything, anyway, until you talk to your L.
xoxo M
Me (46) H (42) M:14 T:18, D9 & D11 4/19 - 12/19: series of escalating BDs 9/20 - present: R and piecing
