Finding and living compassionate indifference

[cardinal]

Keep doing whatever you can that will bring you peace.

Thanks, bttrfly. This is really all I can do, as in actively do, and it is a good place to keep my focus. And my focus is on being outside and with my flowers and creatures most of the time.

may, I feel like I have developed a force field that mostly works, but it fritzes out or loses its power at unexpected times (maybe I need DnJ to repair—ha!), and then I’m like, where did my force field go? I’m suddenly vulnerable and all these feelings come rushing in. This morning I was half-awake and just missing the kind of banter and connection I had with old H. I can remember it very clearly. I tried to just pray that he would work through things and find himself, because I know none of that is up to me. And then I get frustrated that I still miss him so much at times. Maybe it is like I fall into a mini black hole. I think I need to work on having compassion for myself on days like this.

I love that there are little baby cardinals in your yard! A few doors down there are young hawks, and they fly from tree to tree screeching every morning. Pretty noisy too, but I like their company.

I wanted a peach pie, but it’s so hot that I told myself I wouldn’t bake. And then I settled in a peach crisp instead. There’ll be some tomorrow morning, if anyone wants to stop by.