Finding and living compassionate indifference

[may22]

I think I just try to not think about this or ignore it most of the time, but it does still get to me that he can mute any emotions he might have. It feels like I am living with someone who is numb, while I feel all the feelings even when I'd rather not.

Hi Cardinal,

Thinking of you... I just had a whole convo with my mom wondering why they don't have chickens as they have the space and the time and otherwise it is totally up their alley. She said my dad really wants them but she doesn't think she'll be able to handle them dying. Which I kind of get.

Is there any way for you to somehow wall yourself off emotionally from caring about what he does or doesn't feel? I'm imagining this magical force field of serenity that surrounds you wherever you go, and his numbness just gets pushed aside and away from your bubble. Not that I (obviously) know how to do this... but it bothers me that you have that little energy/emotional suck from him, almost like a mini black hole.

Any baking recently? Our red-headed cardinals had a second set of babies right after the last set, which is unusual and fun. The babies are LOUD though.

xx M