Bluesea, there seems to be some good momentum in the transparency department. However, please do not ever compare yourself to this woman. In fact, disregard everything you know about her. She is no longer worthy of your time or mental energy. H didn’t go after her for the things you see on social media. He got some cheap thrills. Which now are hopefully over.
But I agree with Scout et al: a complete 180 is not realistic, he will crash and burn at some point, so steel your heart right now. That’s not to say he isn’t ‘real’ right now, but this Is the time to truly DB. Make him work to earn you back. Make yourself worthy, in every department. Mostly, if not all, for you. You are a queen and a catch and a prize. Remember that.
It’s OK for him to be remorseful and repentant and WORK at this for at least as long as you have been suffering. Don’t enable his return, you didn’t break him, don’t try to fix him (or pave an easy path to retuning to your family). The harder he has to work to earn his way back, the more he will appreciate the fruits of his labor.
I know I started this conversation a few posts back, and I haven’t read it anywhere specifically in the DR book, but we all, as humans, need to feel like we earn our way in the world. If it’s too easy to get to point A, maybe we should have been aiming for point Z! If point A was so attainable, then why not set our sight higher? Don’t be point A for your H. Be closer to point Z. Make him work for your love, companionship, company and trust again. The harder he works, the greater the prize (YOU!).
