I have wanted to speak R with my H. But I am not ready, and I know if I attempted, it would not go well. I still want to stand and I am really trying to not read his mind,
Last Friday ( one week ago) til Monday, he was very nice, making mini convos. Tuesday morning, someone else took over and he returned to being blank stare- distant. He has been easy to deal with in the last few months. What changed? I.dont.know. I cannot read his mind. I can think he’s hurt and is depressed and a multitude of other excuses, but I really don’t know. What do I know? Me. I am not ready to give up, and a year ago, this was normal behavior. I have seen him lighten up and cycle through a few times since then. He is fighting his own battles.
I had cried to my IC when he went out with his friends, thinking of all of the lies he was possibly telling them. She asked why it mattered, since I know the truth. I had to really think about that. He’s lying. Oh well. I know the truth, and so does he.
I will just keep standing until I decide I don’t want to or until I don’t need to, this isnt for the weak. Do what you need to do as in making a plan if things don’t go to a reconciliation. But if you can, GAL and don’t talk to her about R.
