My W has really dug her heels in on every position at this point. It's sad to watch so much of what we saved and worked for go towards legal expenses, instead of our futures and our kids' futures.
As a brief synopsis: She is trying to buy me out of our home, but she doesn't have a reasonable offer on the table (she wanted to use the kids' college funds!). She has not gone back to work yet, even though we separated a year ago. She continues to fight any change to our existing timeshare. And on all 3 points, it is clear that the legal process is going to work in my favor.
I understand some D's become very high-conflict. This is just a snapshot in time. But man... I am really happy I am not going to be spending the rest of my life with this woman. Her inability to communicate, her manipulative methods to try to get her way... it's shocking. My L is shocked. Although we now share joint custody, she continues to argue that the children should not have local medical care, but instead should continue to see doctors from hometown. It's crazy how even the most minor things become flashpoints. I know she may not be this way forever. But some of her behaviors -- the subtle gaslighting and manipulation and control -- have always been there to a degree.
Now that I've been standing up for myself for awhile, it's interesting to watch her struggle to adapt to this new dynamic. She keeps going back to her bag of tricks, and I feel... indifferent. I see somebody who has no interest in understanding my point of view, somebody who seems very entitled, and somebody who hasn't accepted that she cannot pick and choose the aspects of our MR that she wants to keep.
Emotionally I'm feeling great. I know this is a financial disaster, and I see signs that I will need to work to repair some of the damage with my son as he and his mother have a very "special" relationship right now. Life could be worse. I'm going to make the best of it. I've been working out a ton in my garage, and go surfing as much as I can - I think I finally found my passion hobby.
I used to be a heavy planner. I planned out my retirement, I thought about how much money I would need. Now... I have no idea where life is going to take me, and I'm excited specifically BECAUSE I don't know. I'm fortunate that I'm pretty sure I'll survive financially and get through this, and I don't take that for granted. Other than that, I'm in good healthy so are my kids, I live in a beautiful place, I get to do things I like to do, and I'm a much happier person than I was the prior 40 years of my life.
