Later, he came to sit in my office to say he's scared of three things.
Noooooooope. Don’t validate the mindf*ck channels. Your H is stuck on self-pity again - time to find the remote!
“H, I’m very busy putting together a post-nup/separation agreement/personal budget. Please give me some space.”
Don’t mention this because you want to scare him, mention it because you do not give a F what he thinks.
It’s honestly obscene that he continues to unload his feelings about his twu wuv onto you. Every time you entertain this nonsense, even just by listening to it, you give credence to his belief that he is the victim in this situation. It’s hard to understand what is motivating you to continue participating in these conversations. He’s not exactly coming up with anything new to say beyond the usual blameshifting and snarky potshots and pathetic whimpering. You are obviously out of his league but he’s still got you convinced somehow that he’s the prize!
Let the two cheaters go live their sexy lifestyle of radical transparency or whatever f*cking dumbsh*t thing they said. Sometimes I really wish we could swear here. If he stays, you’ll be the chief of marriage police for the rest of your life. Constant vigilance. Trust but verify. Random inspections. Are you prepared for that? I suspect some people enjoy having that power over their repentant cheaters, but I don’t think that’s you. Unfortunately, it’s either that or put your faith in a proven lying cheater and try to forget that you can’t trust him.
What ratio of wanting him to stay/go do you feel right now? 80/20, 50/50, 30/70?
Good work being prepared with the paperwork in advance.
