He has to hate you in order to justify his cheating. When you have a nice time together, it creates cognitive dissonance in his mind. "If she's not that bad, maybe I'm the problem? If she's not that bad, how could I have hurt her?" I know it's tempting to try and explain it away as MLC, childhood issues, indecision about the marriage, or whatever else.
Unfortunately, the reality is simple and ugly.
You could simply say "You seem angry right now. I'm here for you if you need to talk but I'm not comfortable with your raised voice and aggression." This might be against the common advice here, but I don't really believe in validating anger. Acknowledging it, yes. But not at the expense of your emotional well-being in the name of divorce busting.
