I do take issue with your "successful reconciliation musts". Not because they aren't musts, because they are. But reconciliation is not something you ever go "okay, it is successful! NEXT!" It is a WiP. Forever. You cautioned me to be careful since I've never been through a D on how I characterize it, so I will push that back at you. You've never R'd so tread lightly.
This is actually inaccurate. I did recon for 1.5 years after the first bomb drop but she was unwilling to do 1,2, or 3 so it was just a stay of execution and I put myself through misery for an extra 18 months. That's why I give out the advice to others to help prevent them for making the same mistakes. Most people don't change unless they truly value the things they are trying to keep in their lives.
I am glad your W is doing all those things. I guess you are just having bad days like most married people and not waiting for the other shoe to drop.
