Journaling- I have been dealing with this for 14 months. I think I have had more good than bad days, but lately, (I think due to quarantine) I have been trying to figure out why he behaves a certain way. I talked with my IC and when I tell her what he’s doing and why I think he’s doing it, she keeps asking me why I am trying to figure it out. I always reason, why I would do something and she tells me, we can’t be in people’s heads.
I woke up this morning, thinking about what she is saying and after reading some posts here last night. I think I have dropped the rope, but I haven’t. If I drop the rope, I truly do not give his mind any thoughts. Easier said than done after this long. I need to really, not try to decipher why he didn’t say hi, why he did say hi, why he brings home food to share every Sunday morning and why he more than half the time won’t eat what I cook.
I need to TRULY GAL. That is my goal moving forward. I still love the man, but I need to take care of me.
