Ok Steve lets work through this with some honesty and perspective that I see in your sitch. It seems like every 6 months or so you have doubts so let’s get to the root cause.
Below are IMO reconciliation musts for a successful reconciliation.
As for number 1, I can’t really say other then I know she’s a stay at home mom of a 17 year old daughter. It doesn’t seem by your posts that she goes out of her way to please you by keeping a clean house which I think she knows by now is to your likening. I also know you feel you always have to be on so that doesn’t sound like you view it as her seeing you as high value. Being on all the time can be exhausting.
As for number 2, she really has no way of knowing that because you have never separated.
As for number 3, pretty sure that never happened. You begged and pleaded after the first two EAs and kind of glossed over EA3.
So that kind of brings us to the last paragraph and I think deep down inside this is what you fear.
Am I off?
SUCESSFUL RECONCILIATION MUSTS 1) She sees you as someone of extremely high value 2) She views a relationship with you as something much better than a life with someone else or a life alone 3) She's willing to work to win you
Without those three things, she's going to walk again down the line, because she really doesn't have the motivation to work with you to change anything, your relationship will keep seeking the same equilibrium it has had because of how your personalities and issues come together.
