I’ve had a rough past few days and just didn’t have the energy to respond. But what wonderful feedback and support. The state of affairs, constantly working and cr@ppy things I was dealing with at work were just kicking my butt. I was just laying in my bed sobbing. My daughter saw me and asked me why I was crying and I said I just felt sad. And she payed with me and hugged me. I never really let that loose around her, but I’m human and it happened.
It’s a lot of change. And when things seemed hard before covid, it’s even harder after . It’s not that I don’t count my blessings or think that a relationship is the only way to happiness. It’s like that time in your life where you pretty much know why you married or partnered up . When the sh!t hits the fan and you need your ride or die...... and you realize you are all you got in this world. It’s tough.
But yes, I know I am strong. I’ve overcome and accomplished so much. I know I’m strong and I know I have been through the worst of the worst. But yeah, I wish I had that person to enjoy my mimosa with while the world blows up!!! I get the dates, but I’ve grown so much that not anyone would suffice. I’m not desperate for a partner. I could absolutely have one if I was desperate. But I refuse to settle. I even get frustrated about that sometimes!!
That being said. I did have my 3 rd first date since quarantine was over tonight. It almost didn’t happen because of rain and we only have outdoor dining. But we took a chance, and he came out here and it ended up being a great date. The weather was nice , the outdoor service was awesome. And ...... drumroll....... I was attracted to him! Yay! And he was just a regular guy. Great relationship with his kids, his father and his siblings. Employed. Divorced 5 years. A gentleman funny. And such a Brooklyn accent, it’s like home. He lives within walking distance of my dad and I’m going there this weekend and we will meet up. He gave me a nice kiss on the lips, like a regular kiss. It’s been a long time.
I’m just happy to know that part of me didn’t die yet and I was afraid it did. . I’m looking forward to a second date.
Of course I would want a second date with the guy who lives in another state. But his dad lives in my state, and my dad is neighbor. And it’s an one hour, 1.5 hour trip and he proved he is willing to make an effort
We shall see . No expectations. But it was nice coming out of a first date wanting a second
