As always thanks for all your words and advice across the forums. You have helped a lot of us out.
I would maybe suggest taking some time to focus on your M and yourself for awhile. Sometimes reading through everyone's difficulties can take an unexpected toll on oneself. These boards and forums are a lifesaver, without a doubt, but there is a lot of trauma, pain, sadness and anguish expressed here. I would be lying if I said it hasnt occasionally seeped out into the real world for myself as well - leaving me sometimes feeling hopeless.
Marriages are hard work - there is no other way about it. They take time and effort from both people, there are bad spells, good spells, awful spells, and terrific spells. But that's the same as in life. There is no pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. It always is as it is - and sometimes you just have to grin and bear it to get through to the better times. That's what I've learned so far, anyway.
I'm sorry you're feeling down. Sit with it awhile, the feeling may pass soon
