My H gets bonuses. Not on a set schedule, but when he does they can be a nice cushion. He has his paycheck directly deposited into our joint account, and I still pay all the bills. Last year, during all of this, he set the bonuses to be paid in a check to him. He has a separate bank account with me as the beneficiary, where he puts those bonuses. He has spent these bonuses on his MLC life. This is his behavior. A couple of weeks ago, he needed $200, he called me when I had just seen him at home, when I was out at a drive thru, to tell me he needed money. I told him, we needed it back as we have a tax bill. I asked if he was getting a bonus and he said “he hoped so”
Yesterday, I guessed he got a check because he was looking for a bill he pays as part of the household. He would t be looking to pay if he didn’t have a bonus. I logged in to his payroll co, and confirmed. I didn’t confront, but I wanted him to know that I discovered it. Here is our convo: Me-I logged in and see you got a bo— h- (cuts me off with attitude)-yea, I got one. Me-we’ll we have taxes due next week H-you’ll get your money Me-did you want me to deposit it on our account? H-I already deposited into mine. I’ll get it to you, don’t worry. So I just said, ok and left the room.
He was very defensive, and probably mad, i figured out he got money. This is one of our issues, as hiding the deposits, has caused issues with filing, as we get the W2, and they are quite different than what we have. All of the niceties, the little conversations, seems wiped out by his attitude. Why does he still live here? My IC says he has no plan. It’s frustrating. I of course, want to stand and I, like you have no time limit. I believe he has underlying issues that need to be addressed. But this morning, I feel like the BD just happened.
I needed to see your post to me, remind myself, GAL and let go.
