WF, you amazing soul you. I had a darling friend in my 20's who had been in foster care since he was 3. Abused, dismissed, abandoned and treated like the scourge of the earth since his earliest memories. And he was the most loving, patient, joyful, appreciative, old-soul human beings I have ever met in my life. His wisdom eclipsed his upbringing and it was an absolute marvel to be in his company. You may or may not have had the same experiences as my friend, but your wisdom and old-soul nature is the same. And my admiration of you both is the same.
I recently finished reading Westo's posts from the beginning to the end of her H's MLC. And her frank 'I need to take care of me' attitude towards his long period of indifference reminds me of you. In fact, your story and attitude is exactly the recipe for success in all the of the success stories on this forum. Keep on keeping on. No expectations, my life is better than the sum of these moments, I will win with shear resolve (whether or not the relationship succeeds), all seem to be components of the success stories. I am no truth sayer, but if I had to hedge my bets, you are on the right path to success with H.
My question is this: what keeps you keeping on? Is it your commitment to your children? Is it your love for H? Is it the small steps he takes in the (and/or your) right direction? Is it your history with H? You intuition? Or are there other motives that make you step back and keep being compassionate and empathetic towards yourself, your M and your H? You seem to be the queen of the 30,000' view of life.
Your resolve, your compassion and your patience are a wonder.
