Living with a WAS/MLC husband...who does not care

[BlueSea]

He wanted to discuss this as a family, so we did. He was very emotional and addressed us all. He showed remorse and was apologetic and promised to devote himself to the success of the marriage and to the family.
-He is going to put in all his effort to make this marriage work
-He is going to go to IC for 6 months
-MC when I think he/we are ready
-He understands fully the 3 points that LH called out and agrees to this and says he is truthfully only at the stage that he really wants to want all those 3 things.
-He will be vulnerable and open, and that scares him to do that, but he will
-He acknowledges all my efforts and is now there to work with me on this marriage
-All of this is taken on a day by day basis, we have all been wounded thru this, he recognizes the devastation he has caused with his selfishness

I am willing to move forward - but am extremely suspicious. He did spend the rest of the time answering questions that he would not before, about the OW, about the gambling, about the credit cards, the gifts, a lot of things he would not before. He went thru the accounts and tallied all the debt from gambling and stepped me thru all the transactions. He has assured us that the A ended on June 11th, like he said before, and did admit to that one mtg for 15 mins (he is tracked) was to pass left items between them. He agrees to being tracked if that is what he needs to do. He did follow thru on getting his testosterone levels checked (off the charts at 1600 where norm/low is 200) and will get this stabilized via our family physician who has agreed to administer to normal levels.

I am not going to get all dramatic and think we are fixed, not in the least. Its going to be a hard journey ahead. He is a liar and a cheat, and because that is his history, I will remain on the fence until I have seen actions that back his words.

I do notice a softening - as quickly as his eyes went cold on Feb 25th - his eyes softened today and I have seen more of the nice guy I married rather than the raging jerk I have been eating sh!t sandwiches from these past 5 months. You all only know what a jerk he can be, but he really was the nicest husband, full on NGS. I let him know I was done walking on eggshells, and I would rather walk away than go thru all this again. He gets it.

At the end of the day - its my prerogative to just walk whenever I want to - with or without cause. He could do the same at any time. I am not going to wrap myself up in promises. Until I see some real actions, I am keeping my mindset that this is just a fire drill. It was only yesterday that he was threatening to leave....

Thank you Steve, LH, May and Sage - I am willing to invest some time to see if this is a sincere effort on his part or not.