LH -- Can you explain a bit more on your point here: "You need to make things *worse* before they can get better"
What I am saying is that IMO you need to separate or divorce.
He has issues that he doesn't want to address that you may or may not be exacerbating, and he doesn't believe in his heart that he can navigate back to "happy" with you.
As you probably know, the only way he's going to overcome that deeply held belief is for you to open the cage door and completely cut him free. If you engage in a relationship with him again it should only be under the conditions that:
1) He sees you as someone of extremely high value 2) He views a relationship with you as something much better than a life with someone else or a life alone 3) He's willing to work to win you
Without those three things, he's going to walk again down the line, because he really doesn't have the motivation to work with you to change anything, your relationship will keep seeking the same equilibrium it has had because of how your personalities and issues come together.
Originally Posted by BlueSea
[b]Do I bring up what are his plans to leave?
I would give it some time.
Originally Posted by BlueSea
I really am not sure how to handle this situation when its mentioned to give him lots of space - does that mean I ignore him?
Don't be rude, don't be dismissive, don't be passive aggressive or antagonistic, just be uninvested.
Originally Posted by BlueSea
We had that huge conversation last night, how does one transition from that to giving space.
Whenever he's home you are out or doing something in another room.
Originally Posted by BlueSea
It's almost like giving him the green light to stay here and keep us all miserable while he 'decides' whatever he is deciding.
