I think you handled it well and opened the proverbial cage door. Now you do nothing but give him space and then more space and even more space. At some point he is going to leave but that's ok.
At the same time, you have to build a life for yourself that anyone would want to be a part of, full of fun activities, outside interests, and engaging friends. If you can do both of those things -- completely emotionally uncouple from him (fake it until you make it) and build an amazing life for yourself, he'll clamor to come back and if he doesn't you won't care. That's your only winning path out of where you are, but getting there is going to be uncomfortable, and more painful than you feel today, because it will go against your nature.
Blue, I'm very sorry you're here. Everything he told you about your faults was nonsense to justify his actions. When you then respond to his complaints you validate them, so he feels even more entitled to his actions.
You've been trying to "nice your way back" for the last several months.
It's not working, it will never work.
You cannot placate him, you cannot "prove your love" through acts of giving and support.
You also cannot push him away by withdrawing support.
He has chosen his course of action, and as of right now, *nothing* you do will impact it.
Your shortest path back together is to go in the opposite direction.
You need to make things *worse* before they can get better
Are you willing to do that?
If not, you can expect many more months/years of the same thing you have now.
