Thanks, IW... that means a lot. I am feeling like I'm frustrating you guys by being so slow to detach and deal with all of this. I feel like if I was in your collective shoes I'd feel the same. There's just a lot to parse through. And now that I'm starting to let myself feel angry, I feel a little taken over by it sometimes and needing to be sure I'm seeing what is real and not what my angry friend inside wants me to think. Anyway, who does care what he thinks?? Yeah!!!
SamCal, I need to bring this up with my IC this week. We talked about it briefly but didn't dig in. I really don't think, though, that he is a 100% a-hole. I don't think I made a bad choice in marrying him, and we had a lot of really great years together. However, I am really mad now that he's making me (maybe) be divorced. I need to understand why I am so against the whole idea so that I can understand how much that is driving me vs really thinking that this M may be salvageable if only he really wanted to salvage it. There are a lot of logistical things too, my job, travel, finances, etc that I want now or had always counted on that will no longer be possible in a Ded situation. So I'm grieving the potential loss of those things and dealing with the anger and unfairness there too.
And. This would be so. much. f-ing. easier. if. he. was. a. d!ck (Cardinal--duck ). all. day. long. Too bad he isn't the raging narcissist as that would be cake in comparison. He's fully into charm with a hint of self-pity mode. He actually listened to what I said yesterday about it being dumb to approach this trip the way he was doing it, let go of the elements that were borrowed from the original trip idea, and spent the whole day researching and booking hotels that he knows I would like. I've stayed non-committal about the whole thing. No R-talks.
Me (46) H (42) M:14 T:18, D9 & D11 4/19 - 12/19: series of escalating BDs 9/20 - present: R and piecing
). all. day. long. Too bad he isn't the raging narcissist as that would be cake in comparison. He's fully into charm with a hint of self-pity mode. He actually listened to what I said yesterday about it being dumb to approach this trip the way he was doing it, let go of the elements that were borrowed from the original trip idea, and spent the whole day researching and booking hotels that he knows I would like. I've stayed non-committal about the whole thing. No R-talks.